To revise my rough draft, i need to start by adding more details and summing up citations. i also need to add in more facts to help me support my main idea. I also need to create conclusions to sum up my paragraphs and sections throughout my essay.
The main purpose i am trying to make is that i believe music and media influences adolescents decision making process. I believe that this is important because parents and guardians could help sensor what their child is listening to.
I used sources that are scholarly articles. I liked using information that i could find experiments to support the causes.
I would like to use outside sources and accounts from some actual parents on how they raised their children.
I liked using my sources to think of certain life-stories that i have encountered thus far. I feel that if I use some personal stories, it will help the audience connect to what i am righting about.
